Beginning to Lift.

I started on the Venlafaxine and things began to lift. Christmas was right around the corner so that was something that I was finally beginning to look forward to. I ended up staying over at the family home from Christmas Eve till Boxing day and had such wonderful quality time spent with my family.

That really gave me the boost I needed and when I went back home I felt much better and felt I was well on the journey back to feeling my normal self. I didn't have much any support from the MH team till the 5th of Jan as my worker was off till then, so that was daunting to face but I managed it well.

I did experience one episode of dissociation during that time. Luckily unlike the episodes before going into rehab where it was like a flick of a switch and I was gone mentally and would wake up having lost time having done something, not knowing where I had been. It was different I only went mentally to a degree. I felt like I was unreal, in the wrong body. Like my flat wasn't mine. And that I belonged somewhere else.

It was distressing to experience this, feeling so confused and disorientated. I tried grounding myself, doing all the techniques I knew of. But nothing seemed to de-escalate the situation. So I ended up deciding to take my night meds quite promptly after my evening ones and went to bed. I did this as I thought if you are asleep you cannot be in harms way. And it worked I fell asleep and the next thing were back to normal.