It's dads funeral tomorrow. I'm an emotional wreck. I should be putting all my coping skills into practice. However my mind is like fuck it, whatever happens happens. Not that I have plans of any sort. I just have urges to harm.
I'm scared I don't want to relapse. But a big part of me feels like I deserve it. It should be me in that coffin, not him. I was a bad daughter, through and through.
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